So yesterday was all about what not to say to a bereaved parent. It probably left you thinking "well what the hell am I suppose to say?". This in itself is a hard question. Even being in the same situation I have found myself face to face with a fellow grieving mother with not a single clue on what to say. I think the biggest difficulty is we think we need to say something to make it better, something profound that will heal all wounds. Obviously there are no words to do this. I think the most important thing is just to acknowledge that the parent is feeling pain and their pain is real. For me the most important thing to say is:
From speaking to other moms this theme is something that seems to unite us. There is a fear that people are going to forget our children. It is a beavered parent's duty to keep their child's memory alive. There's a reason why I mention Elijah often in conversations. It's not because I love awkward pauses in conversations but because I need to know that people still remember him. That being said I don't mean every time you see me yell out the above lines. It just means don't be afraid to mention him especially if you're thinking of him. I love hearing his name and knowing that even thought he is gone he isn't forgotten. Don't skip over all of 2010. . Don't worry I can handle it.
I don't expect you to understand its one of those things you have to experience before you fully get it. But that's okay-there is a lot of things I understand. But just because you don't understand it doesn't make it less hurtful or less significant of an event. Being supportive is being there for someone regardless of the reason: the fact that they're hurting should be enough. If you don't know what to say, be honest. I personally don't need a long speech, I just need to know that you're there for me when I need a shoulder.
This one is personally for me. 2010 ended up being one of the worst years in my life. Evertying bad that could happen did.
Remeber when you're ever stuck it never hurts just to say:
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